It was cold for June. Much colder than normal and i was sicker  than normal too but still upright. Something in my last meal had betrayed me. I could have just stayed in bed - in any bed. I had five women here and there and they all wanted me to tell them i loved them and there wasn't one I could say it to. A massive hole throbbed inside that nothing fit and I was even rejecting my food.

The phone went off and I picked it up just to stop the ringer. It was Betty - a rich girl from the south East. I tried to tell her that I didn't have it in me to see her but it wasn't easy. She wouldn't listen when she thought i was hiding - and i was. "Come on now, big grumpy bear" she laughed. " I'm going to a party and i need to take you. Everyone will lose their minds if they see me with you". I guessed her man was out of town again. There was nothing else to do but sit around feeling the sickness, so i thought i might as well go. Try to take my mind off it. Maybe I could kill whatever was poisoning me with someone elses alcohol. At worst i'd put some fire in the blood and have a good cleansing so i arranged to meet her outside the hosts place.

I was quiet as usual at the house, whereas She liked being the show more than watching. She'd parade around in expensive clothes and shiny accessories and say - "what do you think of this? do you like me in this?" and I'd say "sure baby, sure" all the while thinking about distances, smashed up rooms, trains, every last cigarette. A spoiled kind, adored by many. She treated expensive and exsquisite things like she owned them - and some of course, she did. Her apartment was expensive too - she lived in quite an exclusive area with a view of the whole city. Daddy or husband paid for that place. That's what I used to think when I leaned against the marble fireplace or the rare stone kitchentops draining glasses of special beers and aged liquors. I was always drunk over there. The money and the excess and the - why everything was so damn expensive - made me uncomfortable. I'm not even sure why i fucked her at all - maybe It was just to prove i could. Every time i screwed her on all fours felt like some heroic victory even though i never came once. Then, when I left her smoking, hanging a leg out of the window and walked down the street to get cigarettes or groceries, everyone would watch like a neighbourhood threat was on the prowl or something and I would smile to myself and think that yes, I probably didn't qualify to be there but you'll have to suck it up for now since I'm fucking one of your daughters.

And everyone she knew was beautiful in that glossy kind of way - even the men. None of them ever had anything to say but wouldn't ever stop talking and so it was horror all round. There wasn't anything to do at their parties except drink until you became offensive or unbearably loud or puked. I thought Maybe I'd get to having a reason to throw a few punches and then it might get interesting. Some ridiculous squawking music filled the room and I looked for something to eat to see if I could keep it down but there wasn't anything so I stood around listening to extreme stories of indulgence and wondered if the holes inside these talkers were the same as mine. After one of them asked me if I was holding for the fifth time like they'd never seen me before I concluded that they weren't.

Later, I noticed Betty draped over an armchair corner as I passed another room. She was giggling and getting in close with some guy with a pencil thin beard and tache and out of
the corner of my eye something was waving around in the air. I turned around and it was the arm of one of a couple of girls trying to get my attention so i went over. The dark haired one who waved had a pierced lip and high shoes, knee socks and a mini skirt and the other - a blonde - had glasses and some rock band t shirt with blue tights and a pencil skirt."I'm sorry, love but my friend here asked me who the man with
the fantastic sideburns was - so I just said to hell with it
why don't I ask him?"
"Well, it's just me" I said
"..and fantastic glasses too!" said the blonde "..not many of us about tonight" she said pointing to her own - a pair of fashionable, heavy, plastic type frames.
"Yeah" I said - "hey do you ladies know if there's any food in
this place?"
"I sincerely doubt it - you'll probably have to order in"
"Yeah - I thought so. Tell you what - I'll be right back".
"Ok - we'll be around - don't get rid of those burns now" she said running her nails along the sides of my face.

I went over to Betty who was nearly sat on pencil-tache guy this time.
"hey - I'm gonna go get something to eat"
"Oh! erm...hey, have you met Craig? He's a fashion buyer for Jace Jacobson."
Craig looked fairly pleased with himself, maybe even expected some kind of fawning reaction.
"Sure... look I'm gonna go get something to eat"
"Oh..." scrambling for her purse "...listen baby, we're running a little dry - do you think while you're out you could pick me up some more cigarettes and a couple more bottles of wine?" She gave me a fifty and I looked at her and Craig and left. I passed the the two girls and looked back at the one with the socks. Great legs but no ass at all. I closed the
door.

I left through the gate and went down a half mile to the store wondering if i should try to fuck knee socks girl and her friend together but as I passed by the snacks that

counted for the only food in the store the smell made me heave a little and I decided to forget the party or any notion of going back. I picked up a bottle of vodka and kept the rest of the fifty. She wasn't going to miss me tonight - only the thrill of cheating on her man and maybe the danger of getting fucked by someone she shouldn't get fucked by. She probably wouldn't even remember about the money. I went down to the train station to wait for the carriage that ended up in a place called Cockfosters. The directions had been scrawled over with markers and a sticker had been added so the sign now read "THIS WAY COCKFUCKERS!". I got on the next train that arrived and left the platform alone.

 

 

 

 

Dom Kreep translates the classics (6)

 

 

 

 

 

 

zombie

 

 

 

more rain